Forks and a Vampire
by The Yuri Fangirl
Summary: One of Yukari's spells goes horribly, horribly wrong, and the Yokai gang gets zapped all the way to Forks just as Victoria readies her army to wreak bloody vengeance on the Cullens! My first non-yuri story, woo!
1. Chapter 1

"Forks and a Vampire"

"Mixing, mixing, mix a magic potion…desu desu!" Yukari sang happily to herself as she churned up a potion in her cauldron. She was alone in the newspaper club room until the rest of her friends came sauntering past the doorway and spotted her.

"Yukari? What are you doing in here?" Tsukune asked as he walked into the room. Moka, Mizore, and Kurumu came following in after him.

"I'm making a potion to use with a new spell I'm going to try!" she answered.

Moka stood by Yukari and peered into the cauldron as the little witch kept stirring.

"Wow, I don't think we've ever seen you make a potion before. How cool!" she said excitedly.

"Yukari, how many times do I have to tell you? All the magic in the world won't make your boobs any bigger!" Kurumu said wickedly.

She started to laugh at her joke, but was soon knocked out on the floor as Yukari dropped a giant washtub on her head.

"That's not what this is for, and I'll have you know that magic did make my boobs bigger once!" the witchling said with a pouty face.

"Yeah, that was a weird episode…" Mizore muttered.

"Episode? What does that mean?" Moka asked in confusion.

Mizore pretended that she didn't hear her.

"Um, so, anyway…what's the potion for?" Tsukune asked Yukari, eager to change the subject.

"Well…it's stupid. I don't want to say," Yukari said sheepishly.

"You can tell us, Yukari. We're curious," Moka encouraged.

"It's nothing special, really. I'm just tired of the forks in the cafeteria being dirty all the time, so this is a spell to conjure up my own," she explained, looking down at the floor in embarrassment.

"Or, you could use chopsticks like a normal person," Mizore mumbled as she helped the comatose succubus to her feet.

"So how do you know when it's done?" Tsukune asked as he too peered into the cauldron.

"It should be finished as soon as I add the last ingredient."

"What's that? Eye of newt?" Kurumu mocked as she regained her senses. It's a pity she did, though, because soon she was down and out on the floor again as another washtub conked her on the head.

"No, you big-breasted cow monster! It's a spoonful of sugar!" Yukari said angrily.

"A spoonful of sugar? I feel like I've heard that somewhere before…" the yuki-onna mused.

"You're not making _any_ sense today, Mizore," Yukari said as she picked up the sugar holder from the clubroom table and poured the contents onto a spoon.

"What if something goes wrong?" Tsukune asked worriedly.

"Oh, Tsukune, it's just a simple spell. What could go wrong?" Moka said.

"She's right, desu! I'm a professional!" Yukari said cheerily as she poured the sugar into the cauldron.

Then the world around them exploded in a blinding flash of white light, and the last thing any of them saw before they passed out were the angry black walls of a violently swirling vortex.

* * *

Mizore was the first one awake. She opened her eyes and slowly sat up, rubbing her head to soothe the dull throbbing in it. After she shoved away Kurumu, who had somehow landed on top of her, Mizore looked around at her surroundings. She and the rest of the gang had ended up on the floor of a damp, dark, forest. Tiny drops of rain dripped occasionally from the leaves above, and far off in the distance a wolf could be heard howling. Moonlight shone through the trees, disappearing and reappearing as the clouds drifted pass the moon.

"….Call me crazy, but I think your spell went wrong," the snow woman said dryly.

"I'd really like to stop getting knocked out now…" Kurumu said from beside Mizore as her eyes spun crazily.

"Then stop making Yukari mad," now Tsukune was conscious, wincing as he rubbed his head.

"I wish that were possible," Yukari said as she brushed dirt and grass off of her hat and put it back on.

"Uhnnn…is everyone alright?" Moka asked as she shakily got to her feet.

"It looks like we're all ok," Tsukune replied as he stood and then helped up Yukari. Mizore and Kurumu were on their feet too.

"Yeah, but where are we?" the yuki-onna questioned.

Moka looked around, searching for some familiar feature.

"It almost looks like the forest outside the school, but I don't think it is…wait, look! There are lights over that way!" she said as she pointed north.

"We should start heading there before something finds us in this forest," Tsukune suggested nervously. "And whoever is out that way can tell us where we are."

"He's right. Let's get going, everyone," Moka said as she started to lead the way. The rest of the gang trudged behind her, keeping one eye on the ground to avoid tripping or falling on the cluttered forest floor.

They walked on in silence for a good 25 minutes, following the distant lights. Finally, they emerged from the forest and found themselves at the edge of an empty, wet, asphalt road.

"Ya-hoo-hoo! A road! That means we're not in the middle of nowhere!" Kurumu cheered, jumping up and down.

"Maybe, but it's not exactly a yellow brick road," Mizore said.

"A what?" Kurumu asked as she raised an eyebrow.

"The yellow brick road. You know, from the…oh, nevermind."

"Hey, there's a sign on the other side," Tsukune stated as he pointed across the street. "But it's too dark, I can't see what it says…"

Conveniently, the clouds above moved from in front of the moon, bathing the world around them in light. The sign became illuminated, and Moka peered across the street to read it.

"It says…'Welcome to Forks- Population 3,120'…."


	2. Chapter 2

"I told you we should have followed the road! It was like a giant arrow pointing us to a city or town! But noooo, you guys had to keep following the lights like a bunch of bugs!" Kurumu complained as she and her friends were hiking through the forest on the other side of the road.

"The road could have gone on for miles," Moka tried explaining for the millionth time. "And besides, the light is coming from the other side of that hill. We're almost there."

"Great, now we have to climb up a hill too?" the succubus groaned.

"I could freeze you into a giant ice cube, would that make life better?" Mizore offered.

Kurumu muttered a string of not-very-nice things to the snow queen as they all started their short climb up. When they reached the top, the gang gasped in unison. The hill was overlooking an extremely modern and luxurious house, painted white with large floor-to-ceiling windows.

"Wow! Do you think someone famous lives there?" Yukari asked in awe.

"A giant see-through house in the middle of a creepy, cold forest? Sounds like a celebrity to me," Kurumu agreed.

"Looks like my kind of house," Mizore stated.

"Let me guess, because you can see everything that goes on inside, right?" the succubus said dryly.

"It's very stalker-friendly," Mizore said with a nod.

"So…do we go down there?" Tsukune wondered aloud. Moka nodded in response.

"We have to find out where exactly this 'Forks' place is so we can figure out how to get home," she explained.

"Well wherever you're supposed to be, it isn't here," said a dark, broody voice behind them. The Yokai gang leapt about a foot in the air at the sound of it.

They all whirled around at once and found themselves face to face with seven people who were very pale and looked a lot like Greek statues. One of the statues, a teenage boy with short, brown hair, stepped forward.

"Leave. Now," he said as he bared his teeth like an animal. He was the one who had just spoken earlier.

The smallest of the bunch, a fairy-like girl with spiky hair, came forward and stood next to the broody one.

"Oh Eddie, don't be mean," she said with a voice that was also reminiscent of a fairy. The one called "Eddie" gave the fairy girl a look that made his face even more broody and creepy.

"Alice, what are you—"

"I saw them coming, didn't I?" Alice interrupted. "If they were a danger, I would know."

Suddenly, Alice's eyes focused on Moka. She peered at her like she was studying a textbook and sniffed the air.

"You…you're a vampire," she said quietly. Sulky Eddie growled.

"It's one of Victoria's!" he snarled.

That statement ruffled Tsukune's feathers.

"Moka is not an 'it'!" he objected bravely.

Another statue, a blonde one who looked like he was in pain, spoke up.

"He's a human…" blondie said.

"People, people, let's just calm down, ok?" Alice said in exasperation. "I told you they aren't a threat."

"Perhaps proper introductions are in order," said the oldest looking statue. "My name is Carlisle Cullen. This is my wife, Esme, and my family: Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie," he gestured to each of them in turn.

"Um, hi…" Moka said, kind of freaked out by the creepy people hiding in the middle of the forest. "I'm Moka Akashiya. These are my friends Tsukune Aono, Mizore Shirayuki, Yukari Sendo, and Kurumu Kurono."

"A human making friends with a vampire?" Edward roared incredulously.

"Uh…Edward?" Alice said simply.

"Oh, right…" he responded quietly.

"Um, excuse me? How did you know Moka was a vampire?" Tsukune nervously asked.

Alice smiled and pointed to her nose.

"I can smell it, of course. I'm surprised you couldn't smell it on us."

"You're all vampires too?" Moka asked with astonishment.

"Of course."

"Alice! Don't just tell the humans that!" Edward disapproved.

Kurumu stepped up and glared at the vampires.

"We are not all human," she said.

The group of albinos went silent for several minutes.

"Then what the heck are you?" said Rosalie. Moka smiled cheerily.

"Vampire!"

"Human."

"Snow woman."

"Witch!"

"Succubus."

The big burly vampire, Emmett, raised his eyebrows and grinned.

"Succubus, huh?"

Rosalie responded by smacking him upside the head. Carlisle cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"Let's just go inside and try to figure out how and why everyone wound up here. Follow us, everybody."


	3. Chapter 3

"Heh. So the little witch tried to magically manufacture a fork and you wound up in Forks instead. That's pretty funny," Emmett chuckled.

The Cullens and the Yokai gang were gathered in the Cullen's living room, listening as Moka played the leader and told the story of how they ended up in the forest. She was careful to avoid mentioning the fact that they all went to a super-secret school for monsters. Thankfully, the Cullens seemed to find nothing strange about a rag-tag group of monsters and a human hanging out.

"Way to go, Yukari. I can't believe you blasted us all the way to America," Mizore said.

Yukari frowned guiltily and looked down at the floor. Emmett, sitting on one couch with the Cullens, reached across to the opposite couch where the Yokai gang sat and playfully pushed Yukari on the shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, Yu. It takes skill to zap yourself to another country," he said with a smile.

Yukari giggled. Mizore rolled her eyes; she could practically see the hearts floating above the witchling's head.

"Moka, I just have to say, your hair is so cute!" Alice said excitedly, completely obliterating the subject at hand.

"R-Really?" Moka blushed in embarrassment.

"Yes! I so want my hair that color now!"

"Lucky for me, mine is natural," Moka said happily, warming up to Alice.

"The movies would be a lot more interesting if your hair was pink," Mizore told Alice.

"I know, right?" the vampire agreed. "That's what I keep telling the producers, but does anyone listen to me? Nope. I only see the future, what do I know?"

The Cullens and the monster friends looked at Mizore and Alice in confusion.

"Movie? What movie?" Jasper asked.

"What are you two talking about?" Kurumu added.

"Nothing," they responded at the same time.

Suddenly, Dead Eddie, who was brooding at the back of the room, whipped his head around and looked at the front door.

"Carlisle, the werewolves," he said with urgency.

The Cullens suddenly leapt from the couch, looking all business. Carlisle glanced worriedly at Moka as Edward and Alice ran out the front door.

"Please, bear them no hostility," Carlisle pleaded. "We've honored a temporary truce with them to deal with a…problem…we've run across."

Moka's face became a giant question mark.

"Why would we be hostile?" she asked innocently.

"One of our good friends is a werewolf," Kurumu said.

"When he's not being a perv," Yukari muttered.

Rosalie, who was standing by the door, screwed up her face into an ugly scowl.

"You're FRIENDS with werewolves?" she said with her patented "I'm a bitch" attitude. Kurumu stood up from the couch and glowered at the unfriendly vampire.

"You got a problem with that, you blonde bimbo?" she demanded.

"Who are you calling a bimbo? You're the one whose boobs have their own sound effects!" Rosalie retorted.

"Aw, is someone jealous just because her boobs are as small and silent as a dead mime?" the succubus smirked.

Rosalie growled an animal growl and took a step towards the blue-haired girl, but Carlisle blocked her path.

"Rose, be nice to our guests," he said with authority.

Rosalie muttered under her breath while glaring at Kurumu, then stepped outside to follow Edward and Alice.

"You too, Kurumu. Don't go starting fights," Mizore warned her.

"Bah. You're not in charge of me."

"Be thankful I'm not. If I were you'd be shaved ice right about now."

Carlisle gave a little laugh, and then he too went outside to meet the werewolves, taking Jasper and Emmett with him. Esme looked on from the window, making sure things were going smoothly.

"Esme? What's the big problem that you and the werewolves are facing? If…if you don't mind me asking," Moka inquired timidly.

Esme turned away from the window and smiled at the younger vampire.

"Not at all, Moka."

She then made her way back to the couch and sat down across from the Yokai gang. She took a few moments to gather her thoughts, trying to figure out how to explain things in a way that wouldn't completely alarm the kids.

"There's an enemy vampire of ours named Victoria. She's creating a vampire army and planning to attack us here."

Moka and Yukari gasped in surprise.

"What? Why would she do something like that?" Tsukune exclaimed as he stood up from the couch.

"It's all about vengeance. Edward…um…beat up Victoria's…uh…boyfriend, and now she's gathering an army to take revenge on Edward and his girlfriend, Bella," Esme explained, still trying to keep things PG for the Yokai gang.

"Seems like overkill, dontcha think?" Kurumu said dryly.

"No big deal. Give me three seconds with them and the only thing you'll have on your hands is an army of popsicles," Mizore offered.

"Yeah! Let us help you, Esme!" Yukari said excitedly as she too leapt from the couch.

"Absolutely not. It's far too dangerous. In fact, we're getting you all back home first thing tomorrow, long before Victoria shows up," Esme objected.

"Aw, c'mon. You can't just tell us there's a big brainless army coming and not give us a chance to beat some crap out of them," Kurumu complained.

"This is all way out of your league," Esme said.

"Moka beats the crap out of bad guys every day and she doesn't even break a sweat," Mizore explained.

"It's true, desu! She takes them out with one kick, literally!" Yukari said excitedly.

"No, I won't let you guys get involved," the adult vamp said with finality.

"It's too late. They're going to fight with us. I've already seen it," Alice said simply as she walked back into the house and plopped down next to Esme.

"Then I guess you've already made up your minds," Esme sighed.

"You were nice enough to take us in, so we want to help you. We're far more capable than we look," Moka said with a smile.

"It's true. Their anime wouldn't have two seasons if they didn't know what they were doing," Alice agreed. Mizore nodded in approval too.

Esme and the Yokai gang just looked at them in confusion. They didn't bother asking what in the heck they were talking about. They seemed to live in a world of their own.


	4. Chapter 4

That evening, the Cullens let Moka and her friends stay the night. For people who don't sleep and never have company over, they had a surprising number of guest bedrooms.

When morning rolled around, Moka was sleeping peacefully until a sudden bouncing on her bed rustled her out of dreamland.

"Moka, Moka, Moka, Moka, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up."

With a sleepy yawn, the young vampire sat up and found Alice bouncing on the bed like a 6 year old on Christmas day.

"…Alice?" Moka said drowsily

"Get up, sleepyhead! We're going out!" she said with fairy-like enthusiasm.

"Out? Out where?" Moka was still trying to wake up; she couldn't exactly handle full sentences at the moment.

"C'mon girl, get with it! We're driving up to Port Angeles to get my hair dyed pink!"

"You were serious about that?"

"I am now," Alice grabbed Moka's hand and pulled her out of bed. "Let's get going! We're having a girl's day out, you and me!"

"Uh…ok. Sounds like fun," Moka was still half asleep as Alice dragged her out of the room.

* * *

When Mizore awoke that morning, she drowsily stumbled to the bedroom door and opened it to find Kurumu standing there, her fist raised to knock.

"Okaaaaay, I'm the stalker here, so what are you doing creeping outside my room?" the Ice Queen asked.

"These people don't eat, therefore they don't cook, and therefore they have no food. Hurry up and get dressed, we're all going out to find breakfast…nice shirt, by the way," Kurumu remarked.

Mizore was sporting a long black nightshirt, with "Vampires Suck" across the front in red.

"It's Jasper's. I thought it was funny.

"Why didn't you let Alice lend you some pajamas?"

"I didn't want that girly frou-frou junk. Tsukune and I got Jasper's stuff. I'm surprised you could fit into anything of Alice's with those freaking honkers of yours."

"I didn't need to fit. I always sleep topless anyway," Kurumu said proudly.

"…That's great. I could have gone my whole life without hearing that," Mizore said as she went back into her room and slammed the door behind her.

"Don't be jealous!" Kurumu yelled through the door.

"Jealous my frozen ass!" Mizore yelled back.

Mr. Cool himself, Jasper Cullen, suddenly came from around the corner and strolled down the hallway.

"Morning, Kurumu," he said casually.

"Hi Jasper!" Kurumu waved at him. "Hey, know any good places to eat around here?"

Jasper gave a little smirk.

"I do, but I doubt you'll be interested in the forest up in the mountains or the blood bank at the hospital."

"Oh, right, vampire," she laughed.

"No duh," Mizore chided as she came out of the room again, already dressed.

"Shut up! I'm used to Moka setting the standard for vampires!"

Jasper laughed his cool guy laugh.

"You'll find that a vampire like Moka is quite different from vampires like us."

"Hi guys! Bye guys!" said the identical blurs of Alice and Moka as they ran down the hallway. The other three monsters stared after them, blinking dumbfoundly.

"…Well, Alice always seems to be the exception to the rule…" Jasper said feebly.

"Moka is the exception to the exception," Kurumu sighed.

"And the only thing exceptional about you is the fact that you don't fall forwards more often," Mizore mocked as she started to walk down the hall.

"Don't start with me, ice cube…"

* * *

The morning sunlight streamed through Tsukune's window, slowly rousing him awake. With a groggy grumble, he sat up in bed and stretched out his arms. When he opened his eyes and his vision focused, Tsukune found himself face to face with Edward, who was sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"WAHHHH!" Tsukune shrieked as he tumbled out of bed in surprise. He jabbed his finger accusingly at the vampire.

"W-W-W-What are you doing in here?" he demanded. Edward remained expressionless as he stared at the human crumpled up on the floor.

"I like to watch people sleep," he shrugged. "Speaking of which, where's your friend Mizore? I wanted to swap stalking techniques with her."

"That is so not the point right now!" the freaked-out Tsukune yelled.

"Hey, who's 'Gin-senpai'?" the Cullen asked with a smirk. "You were having…interesting…dreams about him."

Tsukune's jaw dropped.

"W-W-What?" he grew more and more flustered every minute. Edward pointed to his head with an evil smile.

"I read minds. It seems like someone has a thing about Gin wearing a Hello Kitty costume."

"There's no way! I don't even know this 'Gin' guy! What's a Hello Kitty? I don't know anyone by that name! It was all a dream! I can't control my dreams!" Tsukune stammered helplessly.

Edward got off the bed and strode over to the door, pausing with his hand on the doorknob.

"Whatever you say. But you seemed pretty pleased about the fact that you also couldn't control where Gin's hands went."

With that, Edward opened the door and left the room, leaving Tsukune wide-eyed, red-faced, and babbling like an idiot on the floor.

* * *

Yukari barely got any sleep at all. She still felt guilty that she was the one who messed up and zapped everyone all the way across the Pacific Ocean. When morning came she was already up, hugging her knees to her chest and staring forlornly at the bedsheets.

"It was a stupid plan anyway," she said dejectedly. "Who calls upon the mystical arts to summon a dining utensil, anyway?"

She was in the middle of her self-loathing when the bedroom door flew open and hit the wall with a bang.

"Yukariiiiiii! Wake up call!" Kurumu yelled, walking into the room. Mizore and Jasper followed.

"Could you be anymore obnoxious?" the yuki-onna questioned. Kurumu gave her a condescending smile.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Mizore's response was to turn the succubus into a living ice sculpture, which then proceeded to topple to the floor with a thud.

"C'mon Yukari," Mizore said as she casually stepped over the ice-encrusted Kurumu. "Jasper's driving us into town for breakfast."

"Um…will Emmett be there?" the witchling asked timidly.

"Well…we could ask him to come, if you want," Jasper answered.

"Yeah, and maybe you could invite him to the gym and watch him lift weights," Kurumu joked, free from her icy casing.

"Did I give you permission to stand?" Mizore narrowed her eyes at the succubus, who slowly shuffled away from the snow princess.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes!" Yukari said as she jumped out of bed, suddenly optimistic.

"Hm, I wonder what's with the sudden change in heart?" Kurumu said with a smile. Mizore turned and started to head out of the room.

"You know what they say. Once you go vampire…"

"Mizore, I am begging you not to finish that sentence…"


End file.
